I'm bringing the scrunchie back. 

All I need is an angel investor to make my scrunchie factory dreams a reality.

Then I will spread the scrunchie gospel across the land.

 Big Mamma Scrunchie

Big Mamma was with me when I decided to move to Richmond and live in this house with bats painted on it.

Summer Lovin' Scrunchie 

Summer Lovin' loves eating tacos, going to the river, this man she met at the river, and Segway tours. And sunscreen. 55 SPF and up ONLY, please. And no spray cans. Summer Lovin' knows spray can sunscreen is not to be trusted.

Drive-with-the-windows-rolled-down Scrunchie

I listen exclusively to tracks 45, and (most importantly) 6. And yes, I am THE BEST big in the world. 

Hangover Scrunchie

Sometimes known as extreme stress scrunchie, this scrunchie is recommended for use on Saturdays, Sundays, bank holidays, the day before a deadline, and immediately before a big presentation

Fancy Scrunchie

Fancy scrunchie by Marc Jacobs hopes that one day I become fancy so she can go out in public. She is always telling me things like, “Wear a different pair of pants for once! Do your hair! Put on mascara!" Sometimes Fancy scrunchie is such a bitch.

Little Buddy Scrunchies 

These little guys do whatever I do. They add a pop of color to the back of my head. They wipe up small spills. They dry my clammy hands. They guard my Big Gulps.

 Wahoowa Scrunchie 

Wahoo misses all of these things: The Lawn, streaking the Lawn, Dirty Werty, The Good Ole’ song,  the free bird, the lite weight, Cohn’s (pronounced cone’s), The Virginian at mid-night and The Rotunda.

Slightly Clairvoyant Scrunchie 

Clair keeps up with the stars. Clair knows what her birthday really means. Clair surrounds herself with her soul color. Clair is in harmony with her spirit animal









Scrunchie’s best friend Fanny 

Fanny loves to go to 7-11 with Scrunchie.